Tonight Tonight
by Aquarius Princess
Summary: songfic! Fenris finds out that Hawke cheated on him with the Antivan assassin, Zevran. After a night of fun, he begins a new road in his life. And that road may include romancing a rival. Fenris/Merrill Done!
1. A Really Really Messed Up Week

_It's been a really really messed up week_  
_Seven days of torture, seven days of bitter_  
_And my girlfriend went and cheated on me_  
_She's a California dime but it's time for me to quit her_

"I'm sorry, Fenris, but I felt that you should know," Aveline said as she tried to read the face of the elf in front of her. She crossed her arms before she sat down in her guard captain's chair. She had just spat out the nauseous story that she had kept quiet for far too long. She was always a woman of the truth. She never really cared for Hawke, but that was not her motivation in telling Fenris about what had happened.

Fenris had a blank look on his face as he slumped down in the chair in front of Aveline's desk. He put his elbows on his thighs and he put his chin on his locked hands. He seemed to look at nothing for a while before he took in a shaky breath, "What's his name?"

"Zevran, I believe. Isabela knows him so you can ask her for anything else," Aveline said as she looked at him. After a few awkward moments, Aveline told him, hoping this would cheer him up, "If it makes you feel better, I believe he was a whore of some sorts."

His head shot up before he gave a harsh laugh, "My companion cheated on me…with a whore…That makes me feel so much better, Aveline. You are so _good_ at this."

It had been almost five years since the relationship had started on this on and off again game. Fenris had just made the relationship stable. It was only a few days ago that he had finally killed Danarius and freed all stress from his life. He was turning his life around, all thanks to his beautiful Evening Hawke. She had been the one to stick by his side. She had the one to defend him against his former master. She had been the one to bring him from darkness into life.

Well, it was too good to be true. It was fun while it lasted.

"Who else knows?" Fenris asked.

"Isabela and Anders," Aveline told him after a minute to debate on whether or not he needed to know.

With a quick motion, Fenris stood up and walked to the door.

"Where are you going?" Aveline asked, hoping that he was not going to do anything to irrational. He had that tendency to let his temper take control of him.

"I'm going to end things with Hawke," Fenris said, simply. He had thought that some form of emotion would come up in his body. It didn't. Everything seemed like it was in slow motion and any fire or sadness in his body was shut down completely.

"I'll see you later, Aveline," he said as he opened the door and shut it behind him.

_La la la, _

_whatever, la la la, _

_it doesn't matter, la la la, _

_oh well, la la la_

"Fenris, if you would let me explain," Hawke started as she went to follow after Fenris. He had came into the Hawke Estate, walked right up to her room, barged in, and announced his discovery of her naughty secret. And within that minute, he also told her that their relationship was over and he had left without letting her say a word.

"There is nothing to say," Fenris said, simply, as he walked down the stairs. He kept his face forward and gave no indication that he was going to stop.

"It was just rutting, it meant nothing. It was just a good time," Hawke continued as she walked down the stairs. It was early in the morning when Fenris had walked in, so she was wearing nothing but her robe and her blonde hair was dirty and unbrushed. She was still waking up and everything seemed like it was a dream.

"If it makes you feel better," Hawke said as she followed him, "I still love you."

"It does not," He said, shortly. Fenris stopped at the bottom of the stairs, "You know that I do not know much about relationships, but I know enough to know that when two people are in a relationship, the sex stays between them. If sex happened outside the relationship, it requires the consent of both." He took the final step before he went to the door.

Hawke stood there with her mouth agape before she sputtered, "You-you-you can't just come here and tell me that you ended things and then just leave! We have to talk about this!"

The door opened and Fenris stood in the doorway. He turned and faced Hawke before he told her, "Hawke…you should know this by now….I do what I want."

_We're going at it tonight tonight_  
_There's a party on the rooftop top of the world_  
_Tonight tonight and we're dancing on the edge of the Hollywood sign_  
_I don't know if I'll make it but watch how good I'll fake it_  
_Its all right, all right, tonight, tonight_

"Fenris, it is good to see you," Isabela smiled as Fenris sat next to her at the bar.

After ordering a drink, Fenris asked her, "Why did I have to find out from Aveline that Hawke was with another man?" He glanced over to her, "I thought we were friends."

Isabela's smile wavered slightly as she picked up her mug. She downed her drink in one gulp before slamming it down. She turned to him and said, "It was Hawke's place to tell you, Fenris. I have no right in getting between the two of you." She then said, "If it makes you feel better, I offered to join, but she denied me."

Fenris groaned as he let his head fall on the bar, "I am tired of people assuming they know what would make me feel better." At the sound of his mug being placed on the bar, his head shot up and he grabbed his alcohol. He took a taste of it before he spat it out, "Augh, how do you _drink_ this swill?"

The pirate queen smirked, "It's an acquired taste, dear." She then took his mug and drunk of it. Noticing Fenris's glare, she set the mug down, "Well, if you don't want it…"

"I want my Aggregio Pavali," Fenris whined as he put his head back on the bar, "Why did I have to waste it?"

"Because it loosened you up around Hawke and it made you forget about your horrific abuse," Isabela said, bluntly. She turned to him, "I can read you like a book, Fenris. You're not as complex as you think you are." After seeing that he did not find her joke amusing, Isabela sighed, "I have some money…Let's go to the Blooming Rose, get some fresh alcohol, and get you laid."

"I don't want to," Fenris said, stubbornly. He sat up and looked at Isabela, "What would doing that solve?"

"Well, nothing, really," Isabela told him, "But it will make you forget about what happened. At least for the night."

He let out a long sigh before he asked, "Do I have to get laid?"

Isabela laughed, "No, not if you don't want to." She then punched him playfully, "What sort of man are you? Most would be jumping at the chance at getting back at the woman who scorned them by sleeping with a whore."

Fenris rolled his eyes, "You believe I should demean myself with a prostitute to get revenge on a woman. As fun as that sounds I would have to pass."

"Well, either way, let's go," Isabela said as she got off the barstool, "The night is young and so are we."


	2. And It Kind Of Looks Like You

_I woke up with a strange tattoo  
Not sure how I got it, not a dollar in my pocket  
And it kinda looks just like you  
Mixed with Zach Galifianakis_

Fenris did not remember falling asleep. He didn't even remember leaving the Hanged Man with Isabela. All he remembered was flashes of a fun night of drinking and heavy flirtation with Isabela. Nothing beyond that. As he slowly came out of his sleep, he turned over in the bed. It only took him a few minutes to register there was a terrible headache pounding in his skull. He let out a pained groan before he curled into the fetal position. A few minutes after realizing he was in pain, he also realized that he was not the only one in the bed. He could feel the skin and the warmth of a body. In his slow and sleepy mind, he put his arms around the body. In his mind, it was a day after with Hawke. In his mind, they were still together. In his mind, yesterday did not happen.

But this was not Hawke's body, Fenris's mind said as he slowly started to wake up. This body was smaller and shorter. The curves were not so widely defined. There was a different smell. Hawke would drench herself in perfume to regain her femininity after a long day of slicing heads. This body smelt like flowers. No...this was not his Hawke. He wouldn't be with Hawke. She betrayed him. But if this was not Hawke, then who was it?

He slowly opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was short black hair. He ran his eyes down the body and he recognized it immediately. Stunned and shocked, Fenris said nothing as he slowly removed his arms. The body started to stir and then sat up as their hands went to rub their eyes.

"Oh good morning, Fenris," Merrill said, sweetly, as she looked over to him. She smiled at him and asked, "Did you sleep well? I bet you did."

Fenris looked at her for a long time before he said, slowly, "Merill...please tell me that we didn't..."

Merrill cocked her head and looked at Fenris with a curious expression, "Didn't what? Oh, don't you remember? You were so drunk when I found you. You were wondering about Lowtown and I knew that I couldn't leave you there. I helped you home. You were so pitiful, Fenris. I just put you to bed." She then frowned, "Did I do something wrong?"

With a heavy sigh, Fenris shook his head, "No, no you did not. Thank you." He was idiotic to assume they had…Even if he was drunk and so inclined to, Merrill would not do it.

Over the last two weeks, his relationship with Merrill had changed from pure hatred to tolerance. Hawke had allowed her fix the eluvian against Hawke's better judgment. After the Keeper died as a result of Merrill's foolishness, Merrill destroyed the mirror. After that, Merrill had been keeping to herself. She was quieter than usual and she barely left her home. Fenris had felt pity for her. She was like a child most of the times. She was ignorant of the demon's true purpose. And for that, Fenris would forgive her.

_La la la, _

_whatever, la la la, _

_it doesn't matter, la la la, _

_oh well, la la la_

"I want to apologize again," Merrill said as she led Fenris to the door, "I had no idea that Isabela would drop you off in the middle of Lowtown. If I had, I would have cleaned up…"

"No, I should be the one apologizing for intruding on you in such a way," Fenris had said as he reached for the door handle. He turned to the other elf and said, "I have done nothing but judge you, yet you let me into your home…You let me sleep in your bed. You even cooked me breakfast, which was exceptional by the way."

Beaming at his compliment, Merrill gave a light chuckle, "Oh did you really like it? I was never good with the cooking, but all this time by myself gives me time to practice." After giggling again, she smiled at Fenris, "It was no trouble. And I do not hold a grudge against anyone. You needed help. I couldn't let you lie there in the middle of the streets. You are my friend."

A frown crossed Fenris's face. In panic, Merrill asked, "Oh no, did I do something wrong? Was I too forward? I didn't mean to be. I-"

Fenris shook his head, quieting Merrill, "No, you didn't do anything wrong." Even Fenris had to admit that she was adorable when she rambled on like that. "I am just worried that you are putting your faith in the wrong place again. You are an odd creature, Merrill. I have shown no friendly action or spoke one kind word to you, yet you call me your friend."

Merrill sighed, "I know you haven't. I do not blame you. You are such an angry person, Fenris. Calling you a friend is not for me, it is for you. You need a friend. Especially now-"

Jumping to conclusions, Fenris's frown turned into a sneer. He looked away from her, "You know about Hawke as well? Everyone knows about this besides me. And now you are going to be my friend to make yourself feel better. It is not enough that Isabela apparently abandoned me in Lowtown after throwing me a pity party, now you must rub salt in the wound. This wound being the cold hard fact that no one in this Maker damned world that cares about me."

Merrill looked at him with wide eyes before she said, "I-I…What are you talking about? I was going to say that you needed a friend after what happened with Danarius and your sister. What does Hawke have to do with this? I thought she-"

Realizing his blunder, Fenris felt his cheeks flush in embarrassment instead of anger. He looked to Merrill and he tried to force out an apology and an explanation. But he couldn't.

The younger elf cocked her head as she frowned, "Are you feeling well, Fenris? You look like you have a fever."

Fenris shook his head as he tried to get the words out.

"Would you like to take a walk with me later?"

How did that happen?

Confused at Fenris's changes in attitude, Merrill just let out a smile as she responded to the question, "I would love to. By the docks would be great. I haven't been there in a few weeks. How does before sunset sound?"

Still trying to figure out why he asked her that, Fenris could only muster out a, "that sounds wonderful", as he went to open the door.

"Lovely. I'll see you then," Merrill said as she watched the elf leave and slam the door behind him.

"What a strange man," she mused as she skipped over to her room and went to tidy up.

_We're going at it tonight tonight_  
_There's a party on the rooftop top of the world_  
_Tonight tonight and we're dancing on the edge of the Hollywood sign_  
_I don't know if I'll make it but watch how good I'll fake it_  
_Its all right, all right, tonight, tonight_

The bustle and noise of the Alienage only served to irritate Fenris's headache as he closed the door to Merrill's home. He could feel the pounding grow faster and faster. And if that wasn't the worst part…

"Fenris? What are you doing here?" Hawke asked as she found the elf standing in front of Merrill's home. In her chain mail, she approached him and glanced at the door, "You weren't at Merrill's, were you?"

"What do you care?" Fenris asked as he looked at her. The metal of her armor started to reflect against the sun. It shot the light straight into his eyes. He felt like there was an arrow sticking into the middle of his forehead.

Hawke took a moment to calm herself before she said, "Fenris, we really need to talk and if you would give me a moment-"

"I really cannot deal with you right now," Fenris said as he walked by Hawke, knocking his shoulder into hers. Damn the sun, damn that sun…

Hawke started to bite the inside of her cheek. She was not accustomed to not getting her way, "Okay…How about tonight then? I can come to your place…Like old times…"

"Actually, I'm busy," Fenris said as he went to the stairs that led out of the Alienage.

"Busy?" Hawke repeated, stunned and bewildered by this. She went to follow him up the stairs, "How can you be busy? You never do anything unless it's with me."

Fenris stopped at the top of the stairs. She was correct. For the past nine years he had been at her beck and call.

"_Fenris, come with me on this mission." "Fenris, I'm lonely, come over and talk to me." "Fenris, I need you." "Fenris, Fenris, Fenris."_

If it weren't for Isabela and Varric, Hawke would be the only person in Kirkwall that he ever really spoke to. That could not be healthy.

"I'm taking a walk with Merrill," Fenris explained as he found a shadow under one of the buildings. He leaned against the wall and watched her come up the stairs.

If Hawke was confused before, she was absolutely baffled now. "Merrill? What are you doing taking a walk with Merrill? You would rather spend time with her than with me?"

Fenris shifted slightly before he said, "Actually that statement is true…"

Infuriated that this was occurring, Hawke's eyes turned into slits, "Well, I hope you have fun with Merrill. I hope you have a fantastic time. And when you are done acting like a child, you can come find me." And with a stubborn glare, she turned and walked away. All the while muttering to herself about how could he do this to her.

"I need a drink," was Fenris's words as he finally collected himself and forced himself to take the long walk home. Yes. A drink, a hot bath, and a long nap. "How could I do this to her?" Fenris mocked as he walked down the busy streets. He chuckled softly, "Oh, yes, Fenris, how could you?"

_You got me singing like_  
_Woah, come on, ohh, it doesn't matter, woah, everybody now, ohh_


	3. It's My Party I'll Dance If I Want To

_Just don't stop, let's keep the beat pumping_

_Keep the beat up, let's drop the beat down_

_It's my party, dance if I want to_

_We can get crazy, let it all out_

"Fenris, there you are," was the voice that took Fenris out of his dazed state. He was barely into Hightown when he was assaulted by the dark skinned pirate queen. Here Fenris was, walking down the street and minding his business, when he felt something jump on him from behind. She almost knocked the broody elf off his feet.

"Isabela, what are you doing?" Fenris asked as he swayed and tried to regain his balance, "Get off me!" He was in no mood to speak to anyone and he could not understand why he could not have five minutes to himself. Was it truly that much to ask?

She gave a rich laugh before she slid off him. Her feet hit the street gracefully. Her hands went to dust herself off. As she looked up, she saw that Fenris was walking away without giving any thought to the woman behind him.

"Fenris, Fenris, oh for the love of-Fenris," Isabela called out as she went after him. When she finally caught up to him, she began her explanation, "Listen, I want to apologize for last night. There were some guys that I owed some money to. I had to deal with them. I thought that you would be safe with Merrill. I did not mean to abandon you."

His eyes glanced over to her and he then returned his eyes on the streets ahead of him, "Do you know how you can gain my forgiveness?"

"How?" Isabela asked as she looked at him, earnestly. Being earnest was a rare look for her so Fenris should take care to appreciate this uncommon moment.

"You can leave me alone for the rest of the day," Fenris told her, "Just do what you usually do and we will be back to normal tomorrow." He stopped in front of one of the merchant stalls and looked at her. He sighed before he told her, "I really just want to be left alone right now."

Isabela respected his wishes, "I...Alright, Fenris. Whatever you say." There was a short pause before she asked, "You aren't going to do anything drastic are you? Because Hawke isn't worth it. No woman is worth killing yourself over-"

And with that, Fenris let out a long laugh even thought it nearly killed him to do so. His brain pounded at the sudden movement and sound. He finished the laugh and told Isabela, "Kill myself? Of course I'm not going to kill myself? I finally freed myself of Danarius. I'm finally free. Do you think I'm going to give up on life now because Hawke shared herself with another? Of course not." He then gave a small smile, "I'm more than just her companion, her lover, or her friend. I'm Fenris, a person separate from her." And with that, Fenris wrapped his arms around Isabela and pulled her into a quick hug. Without another word, he waved to her and went on his way.

Still stunned and struck over what he did and what he said, Isabela just shook her head and went her separate way, "That boy is not right..."

_Just don't stop, let's keep the beat pumping_

_Keep the beat up, let's drop the beat down_

_It's my party, dance if I want to_

_We can get crazy, let it all out_

When Fenris finally forced himself to wake up, it was five minutes after three o'clock in the afternoon according the clock tower. He yawned as he sat up in the bed and did his usual stretch before he got off and went to get dressed. He had a few more hours until he had to meet Merrill at the docks.

Wondering why he was even keeping this appointment, Fenris began to give thought on Merrill. She was a very kind creature that reminded Fenris of a newborn kitten at times. Though he would not admit this to many people, he preferred the company of cats to most animals. He had taken care of a stray cat during his stay with Danarius. He was fond of this creature and most of the time it was his only source of happiness. And then Hadriana found out about it and set the creature on fire as she held Fenris paralyzed.

"Bitch," he whispered as he finished putting on his clothing.

After he had dressed, he went back into his room. Whistling a tune, he began to open his armoire and pulled out Hawke's clothes and spare weapons. He carried the items over to the fireplace and threw them in before he lit a fire and watched the flames devour her pretty clothes and lick the blades and scorch the bows. Perhaps he should have told Hawke that she needed to retrieve her things from his home instead of burning them. But then again, fire always made him feel better.

As he let out another sigh, he thought of the countless times that Hawke came over and spoke with him. She did not believe as he did about mages to begin with. After the death of her mother, however, she saw the danger they could pose. She saw what could happen when they took magic for their own selfish desires. Something inside Hawke broke when her mother died. She never smiled as much as she used to. She used to make everyone laugh, but she became sharp and cold. She used to be good friends with Merrill and she suddenly turned on her friend and degraded her decisions every chance she got.

However, Hawke had started to return to normal. She smiled more and she even began to laugh. And when Fenris told her that he had no one, she reminded him with a loving smile that he had her. And he finally let down the wall he had and he allowed her into his life. He had such high hopes for them. He thought that she was 'the one'.

"Well that's what you get for thinking," Fenris scolded himself as he grabbed the fire poker and poked at the black ashes.

_It's you and me and were running this town  
And it's me and you and were shaking the ground  
And ain't nobody gonna tell us to go cause this is our show_

"Oh, hello, I did not think you would come," Merrill smiled as she watched Fenris come down the stairs. She was sitting on the docks, letting the water play at her feet. She put her hand on her forehead and moved the strands of her hair out of her face.

Fenris stood above her, unsure if he should sit down or if he should get this walk over with as soon as possible. Figuring he had nothing better to do, he sat down next to Merrill. Since he was taller than Merrill, his feet were able to be submerged in the water. He enjoyed the cool feeling and allowed them to stay there.

"I talked to Aveline today and she told me about what happened," Merrill said. She turned to Fenris and told him, "I am very sorry. How are you handling it?"

He shifted slightly as he looked down at the water, "I believe that I am handling it well. At least better than everyone thinks I should be taking it."

"That is good," Merrill said with a small smile on her face, "Hawke is very upset. She's been at Anders's clinic, crying her eyes out." She kept quiet for a moment before she squirmed uncomfortably, "Anders wants to speak to you."

Stunned by this, Fenris turned to her, "Why does he want to talk to me?" Fenris did not see the need to drag Anders into this. He knew that Anders was one of the three that knew about Zevran, but Fenris also knew that he had no obligation to tell him about it. After all, they hated each other. Then again, knowing Hawke she would have ran to her best friend and spun the story around to make it seem like none of this was her fault and that Fenris was the mad beast that Anders thought him to be.

Merrill just shrugged, "Something about you need to be a man about the situation." She didn't notice Fenris's fury about the statement. She continued, "I think you are treating this well. She has hurt you in a terrible way and you need to distance yourself from that hurt. And if you do not want to talk to her, than he should respect that. And forgive me for saying this but I really believe that he should not stick his nose in your business."

"Finally, someone sane," Fenris muttered as he slid back and made himself stand up. He extended his hand to Merrill, "Come...Let me take you for that walk..."

With an adorable smile, Merrill took his hand and helped herself up, "Alright. I found this interesting shortcut and there's this merchant stall that sells the most scrumptious cookies. Can we go?"

Amused with her childish request, Fenris smiled at her, "Yes, Merrill, if you are good, I'll buy you a cookie..."

Merrill looked confused for a moment before she smiled, "Oh, you were making a joke." She giggled before she looked down, "I like it when you make jokes and smile...It makes me smile."

"Hmph, you're strange," Fenris just said as he went up the stairs with a faithful Merrill following him.

_Everybody  
Woah, come on, ohh, all you animals  
Woah, let me hear you now, ohh_


	4. It's Alright Tonight

_Tonight tonight there's a party on the rooftop top of the world_  
_Tonight tonight and were dancing on the edge of the Hollywood sign_  
_I don't know if I'll make it but watch how good I'll fake it_  
_Its all right, all right, tonight, tonight_  
_Its all right, all right, tonight, tonight_  
_Yeah its all right, all right, tonight, tonight_

"And then you should have seen the look on Varric's face. Mouth agape, lips wavering like a fish! He really thought Isabela and I were talking about something naughty!" Merrill told him, finishing her story.

"Well, can you blame him? Especially since those words are innuendos?" Fenris asked, trying to keep his laughter under control.

"I know, but he should have been listening well if he insisted on eavesdropping," Merrill giggled as the two finally approached her house. The two stood in front of her door with an awkward silence between them.

"I…I suppose this is 'good night'," Fenris stated as he shifted his feet uncomfortably.

Merrill's smile still stayed on her face as she nodded, "Yes it is…Thank you for this, Fenris…I missed the walks. Hawke and I used to take them before her mother died…"

"You and her were good friends. I'm sorry that she treated you so terribly," Fenris said, earnestly.

"I'm not. If she didn't, I wouldn't have realized what I was doing. I would have been dead if it weren't for her. Tough love, I guess," Merrill said, forcing a laugh.

Fenris had to agree with her a little on that one. However, he would not say anything. Merrill had been kind to him. Even when he had treated her like a demon in disguise.

"Yes…tough love," Fenris sighed as he looked down at the street before he looked at Merrill, "Well, good night, thank you for the walk. I believe that it did more for me than it did for you. It's nice to be able to let my guard down around you now…You're much easier to talk to when I'm not terrified of you turning on me."

Blinking his eyes, he realized what he said, "Oh…That was…incredibly stupid of me to say…"

The smile was still on her face, but the look in her eyes showed her hurt. She looked down, "Was I that frightening? We fought together…We bled together…But you were still scared I would turn on you?" Her lower lip started to waver as she held back her tears, "I was such a monster…Why would you even be here to begin with?"

She reached for the door handle. Fenris reached out as well, stopping her. As soon as his hand touched her, he felt something in his markings pulsate. At once he felt a shot of pleasure come from the tips of his fingers to the depths of his heart. He didn't understand. He had touched Hawke even more than this, but he never felt the markings respond so strongly.

_Just singing like_  
_Woah, come on, ohh, all you party people_  
_Woah, all you singletons, ohh, even the white kids_

And within the minute, he pulled Merrill close to her and pressed his lips against hers. He held his hand tighter as he deepened the kiss.

Surprised at this, Merrill's eyes widened as she tried to struggle away from him. But her resistance melted away as her eyes closed and she returned the kiss. Her tears disappeared as she felt a new feeling take over her.

He planted the soft kisses down her neck as she ran her fingers down his markings. She would have been a desire demon, but he wouldn't care as long as she continued to touch him in this manner. There was no thought as he moved his hands down her sides and whispered her name.

Finally, Merrill was able to reach for the doorknob and she turned it, letting the two stumble in before closing the doors. Fenris pulled her up and allowed her to wrap her legs around him. He fell into the wall and went to kiss her lips over and over again before he heard her.

"Fenris…Fenris…Stop," Merrill moaned as she tried to pull away from his kisses.

Forcing himself to stop, Fenris ended the kiss and looked at her wide, innocent eyes, "Am I hurting you?"

Merrill shook her head, "No…well, yes, a little…but not really and I do not really feel pain from it…It's more like a pain that feels good…" She blushed as she looked away from him, "I'm terribly sorry. I'm talking too much for this activity. I never done anything like this before. There was this boy back in my clan, but it was never like this." She let an awkward laugh, "I'm still talking. I'm sorry. I must be doing everything wrong. I promise, I'll be quiet, it's just that-"

Fenris just shook his head as he walked over to her bed and let her down. There was a faint light from a dying candle so Fenris was able to get around the house. However, he could not see anything past the shadows on Merrill's face.

"What's wrong?" Fenris asked as he sat down next to her in the bed.

Merrill looked at him with a sad look on her face, "I…I had always thought of you…in this way…I don't know why…You hate me…And when Hawke desired you, I let you two be because I knew that she could make you happy. But now, I realized that she just caused you stress and harm. And Fenris," she looked at him and said, quickly, "If I were with you, I would treat you like a prince and would never, ever sleep with someone else…Fenris, there is no one else I want to be with. I don't want anyone else the way I want you."

Still surprised at all this information, Fenris just sat there in shock as he tried to take this all in.

That's when Merrill started to cry, "And now I've ruined everything."

"How did you ruin it?" Fenris asked as he put his hand on her cheek and tried to wipe her tears away.

Angrily, Merrill pushed his hand away before she stood up, "Don't touch me." She walked over to the door and stared at the floor, "You do not want me the way I want you. You want Hawke. You love Hawke. I'm just a replacement for the night, was that not your intention?" She turned and looked at him, "I know you are angry, I know that you have lust, and I know that you are lonely. But why me? Why would you do this to me?"

Fenris looked at her, disbelieving that she would ever think that of him, "Merrill, I would never do that to you…" He stood up and tried to approach her. She just backed into a corner, like he was an aggressor, not a friend.

"I have made mistakes. I have done a lot of things wrong in my life…I would never make that mistake again. Not when there is something greater than Hawke at stake," Fenris told her before he took her hands into his, "I know you, Merrill, and even if you offered yourself to me tonight, I would not take you…" If his body could, it would scream at him and force him to change his words. He told her, "I don't want to use people. Not like Hawke does. I need time…You need time…And I will not sacrifice another for a few hours of happiness. Not again."

Fenris frowned before he started to walk away from her.

Merrill was now the one to grab her. She took his hand and smiled at him, "You will do what is best. I know it. You are a good man, Fenris." She reached up and initiated another passionate kiss before Fenris finally left the house, whispering his goodbyes.

Now, Fenris had a few problems he had to resolve. Some more urgent than others.

_Just don't stop, let's keep the beat pumping_

_Keep the beat up, let's drop the beat down_

_It's my party, dance if I want to_

_We can get crazy, let it all out_

As soon as dawn graced the sky, Fenris was already well on his way to the infamous clinic in Darktown. Without warning he kicked open the door and stormed in with a scowl on his face.

Alarmed at this early intrusion, Anders grabbed his staff, excepting all the noise to come from templars, not a mad elf.

Seeing that it was his rival, Anders put his staff up, and looked at him, warily, "What are you-"

"If you want to talk to me, you talk to me face to face. Do not send messages through Merrill. If you want to scold me on being a man, grow a pair yourself and at least send me a letter," Fenris told him, growling like a mad animal, "Now, say what you want to say."

Anders furrowed his brows as he leaned against the wall and crossed his arms, "You are acting like a maniac. Hawke is terribly upset and she wants forgiveness from you."

"I will sooner bed _you_ than honor her apology," Fenris snarled, spitting on the ground near Anders's shoe.

"Charming," the mage said, shortly, before he looked to Fenris, "Whether you do this or not, I do not care…" He developed a small smirk, "She just needs closure before she moves on…"

The look in his eyes reminded Fenris of a dog patiently awaiting a piece of meat.

"You…you want her," He said, disgust rising in his throat.

"I've been waiting for seven years for you finally release your hold on her. It's ironic that your hold on her was so bewitching," Anders said, "And unlike you, I can keep her satisfied so she would not need to take the offers of strange men."

Instead of exploding and ripping his heart out, Fenris just started at Anders and shook his head, "I am mistaken. You have quite an impressive pair on you."

"I am not here to argue with you or to flaunt Hawke's interest. That was not why I brought you here," Anders said, finding smugness that he was able to keep the upper hand in the conversation, "This is for her. She really needs to talk."

"Why does she want to talk? There is nothing to talk about," The elf responded, trying his best to control his anger.

"Yes there is," was the quiet response Hawke gave as she entered the clinic.

Fenris turned around and looked at her. His face softened before he snarled, "Evening, if you cared for me at all, you will let this go."

Hawke wavered slightly at him using her first name before she smiled at him, "I do care about you. I want you back Fenris…I miss you."

"What you miss is someone to take your emotions out on. What you miss is hearing yourself talk," He glanced at Anders, "Are you taking notes, Anders? Because this is what you are getting yourself into." He looked back to Hawke, "You believe that I could just forgive you. After what you have done? You know me better than that. Perhaps the old Fenris might have…The scared, angry boy that you met long ago might have clung to you like fleas on a rat. He might have stayed quiet and obedient while you betrayed him." He took a quiet gulp before he continued, "Yes, that Fenris would have welcomed you into his arms and never looked back. But not me."

Fenris said, peering deep into Hawke's soul, "You wanted to fix me. Like a child would fix a broken toy. Offer him friendship, teach the poor slave to read, give him love, help him rise up, take the hate away." He then smirked, "But you made a mistake. You build me up too much. I don't need you anymore…" He indicated Anders with a wave of his hand, "Now you can move on. Fix the apostate. I hope you have fun with that."

With wide and shocked eyes, Hawke turned as she watched Fenris leave. "You-I-Fenris, what-"

"Let him go, Hawke," Anders said, delicately, as he put her hand on her shoulder.

Hawke looked up at him before she looked back to Fenris, "You're right. He isn't worth it. Let him leave the best thing that has ever happened to him." There was a scorn in her voice. It was almost as if she was convincing herself, not him.

And with that, a smile formed on Fenris's face as he left the clinic.

"I hope he was worth it. I hope a cheap, tawdry fling was worth it," he whispered as he went back to Merrill's house.

_Just don't stop, let's keep the beat pumping_

_Keep the beat up, let's drop the beat down_

_It's my party, dance if I want to_

_We can get crazy, let it all out_


End file.
